here's to everything, to nothing, and anything in between

After numerous thoughts of starting a personal blog, I keep wavering between excitement, and fear.  Excitement stemming from the opportunity to put some ideas into writing, an ambiguous and somewhat scary task. Simultaneously, I have found there is a strange comfort in writing... writing to anyone, for myself? To no one at all?

So, with a shrug of my shoulders, I begin this blog.
To whoever is out there who cares to read, lovely to meet you :).

So far, I have learned that happiness is a temporary, irreplaceable state of being. While speaking with a recovering addict in one of my psychiatric clinical experiences last semester, he quoted something from one of the original authors of the very popular 12-step program. “Make a relentless commitment to change yourself for the better.” This struck me. Change is never easy, even when it is forced upon you. It causes us, as human beings, to feel unsteady, to feel out of control, and to feel diverted from what we are used to: healthy or unhealthy, good or bad. Alternately, it is difficult to inflict change upon ourselves. 

Is it possible that happiness is something we need to commit to in order to live in its glory? I found this to be an interesting and novel (at least to myself) way to look at happiness and the ultimate goal of achieving it.  I do believe commitment is a vital component to the accomplishment of any goal.

Today, I make a relentless commitment to happiness. I promise to appreciate it, to be aware of its presence and absence, and to brave change in order to promote its return and stability. 

Promise to be silly. Promise to laugh. Promise to grow up. Promise to never grow up. Promise to believe in the potential of others. Promise to believe in my own potential. Promise to turn potential into reality. Promise to forgive. Promise to listen to what I need. Promise to do something about it. Promise to be okay with feeling, even if I know it can be irrational. Promise to just be.